alaterdate | Down in it (Reply)

I'm not a good poster. Which is why tumblr is so easy for me bc I can reblog a bunch of good shit instead and still be considered active there. But even tumblr I've been having run on a queue lately. I'd like to be a good poster, I like coming here and reading everything and replying if I have something to say. And I admire bloggers, but I'm not a good poster. Most of all I kind of feel burned out by social media atm (not even looking at any of the new ones) and I want to spend more time doing crafts instead of mindlessly browsing (tumblr and reddit :^\). I already pretty much quit twitter a few months ago and the way tumblr keeps messing with the dashboard I might finally be free after 14 years.

As for craft stuff—I really stepped into it by starting crochet. I decided to do this big project blanket right away and I'm 10 yarn balls $$ in on this already, and then I started feeling so... overwhelmed I guess. Because I joked about it, but I really need to find some way to balance my myriad of hobbies.

I bought myself a new drawing tablet the other day too because I had enough saved for it. I still haven't got to really play with it after setting it up, but I so want to get back into drawing. Deep down I miss it even if it caused me grief. So add that BACK into my hobby list. And now I'm paralyzed by too much choice in what I could do with my free time. I waste a lot of time just thinking "should I crochet or should I try out the tablet? What about studying should I do that instead?" So right now I'm working on making a list of priority hobbies and giving them goals and deadlines because I think that will help.

On top of it all, I really really really need to finish some sort of craft soon. I crave it. But writing has been sidelined for a while now. I haven't been practicing my coding (big miss steak). And my crochet projects are long term projects. There has to be something short term I can work on and finish, but I can't think of what! Maybe just typing up some drawer fic and throwing it on my website will satiate me. (But I still need to make time for it! I really dislike my current work schedule and will continue to unless I become a morning person ASAP ugh.)

But the most revelatory thing crochet has kicked off for me is: I want more friends who also do things. Doing that stitching session with two of my friends just made me crave it more. I want that structured club vibe y'know; the exchange, discussion, accountability. I know the reason that my brain is screaming "I need alone time. I need a weekend alone." is because I feel like I need to get something done. It's not that I don't like hanging out with my friends, of course I do, but if I had more friends who do the same crafts then is that not two birds one stone?